Lifes Little Mysteries -- Unanswered Questions...

Not Racing related… but what the heck… it made me laugh…

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…
does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?

Do Lipton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together, it spells
‘THEIRS’?

your right

It made me chuckle too Mark. Bob…

Some that I haven’t seen before!

Very good Mark :slight_smile:

Made me laugh, which is what I needed today.

looks like you swiped a bunch from Steven Wright.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYffXv7jMYQ

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

anywho, i always like to make sure all of my employees are well gruntled.

Actually I didn’t write it… it was an email…

But I do love Steven Wright! [fellow Bostonian!]

[fellow Bostonian!]

wait a second, you’re a Masshole?

[starts slowly backing away]

:grinser010:

You mean you couldn’t tell???

You mean you couldn’t tell???

hell no. i’m a lot more obnoxious than you are.

and every other word out of your mouth is NOT f$#k. you must have been adopted or something.

not adopted… just lived in Florida for the past 14 years.