The new Doc in town...

FLORIDA STOCK CAR RACING Comics Corner
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These are questions that the new Doc answered.

Q: I’ve heard that Cardiovascular Exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up hear not make you live longer; It like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take Nap!

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and Vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are those, Vegetables! So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism for delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken… Beef also good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable). And Porkchop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit!! Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.
Beer made out of grain! Bottom up!!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry… My philosophy is: No pain… good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! Food are fried in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa Bean! Another vegetable. It best feel good food around.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me!!!

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ a shape!

Doctor says, well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets…

:ernaehrung004:

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[SIZE=“4”]HEY De-Wane, did someone give you a joke book for Christmas?

Ya Know Sum-tin… we get this way every year during silly season! And then they plan a race for this weekend (Citrus) and end up calling it because of the chance of “F…N’…ING SNOW”! Can you imagine that? Snow in Florida, we havent had any snow since 1977 except a few snow flakes a couple of years ago… Speaking about flakes, has anyone heard from EDM lately… I think he has quit eating so he’ll be plenty hungry on the night of Jan 22nd cause he knows there will be free food.[/SIZE]

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There is nothing about free food at $38.00 per plate… LOL… Actually I am very happy that they are having it where they are and that the cost isn’t prohibitive this year for many people… And I understand that your memory is short term only, but don’t forget we had snow the year of the fires… '98…

All I am going to say about this week is BRRRRRRRRRR!!!

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[QUOTE=Old Sunshine Fan;40693][SIZE=“4”]HEY De-Wane, did someone give you a joke book for Christmas?

Ya Know Sum-tin… we get this way every year during silly season! And then they plan a race for this weekend (Citrus) and end up calling it because of the chance of “F…N’…ING SNOW”! Can you imagine that? Snow in Florida, we havent had any snow since 1977 except a few snow flakes a couple of years ago… Speaking about flakes, has anyone heard from EDM lately… I think he has quit eating so he’ll be plenty hungry on the night of Jan 22nd cause he knows there will be free food.[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

You might be older but you are not wiser. That is a pretty lame attempt at an insult. I thought you would have learned by now but I will let it slide. Don’t worry, I will give you some personal lessons at the go kart track.:ernaehrung004:

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Hey Bucko-ette, where was the insult… I was serious. Not into Tic-4-Tac (maybe you/others are).
I was prepared to receive/GIVE special attention at the Lil 500, HOWEVER, my excuse (and I am stickin to it) is when I saw the address, I googled it and looked at the map…
(1). That is just too damn far from Tampa on a Friday evening when I get off work at 5p. (that traffic would be super bad at that time)
(2). Karate is M-W-F (No dumbass - not me…there is a kid in neighborhood - both parents in prison - Grandma is raising him and little sister - I just put him into Karate to give him some direction/respect (like YOU need) and all that other good stuff). If nothing else… when his parents get out, he’ll be able to defend himself. Hell, I might have him block for me if I ever get on a track with you guys.
(3). I heard there is a free buffet at my lodge later that night (WATCH OUT - Beans included).

So there are my excuses… some day, there will be a Lill 500 Tampa Style and you guys can come on over and get yur butts beat.

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[QUOTE=Old Sunshine Fan;40706]
I was prepared to receive/GIVE
[/QUOTE] What??? I guess it is 2010

It doesnt help. I was in Kung Fu for several years and then the Marine Corp for four years.

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Ya know, I was kinda lookin forward to this years 500… read about all the fun you guys have had in the past… figured I’d come over and see if I could make it through the whole evening without getting thrown out - actually, I did that once… ran all evening and got to use all my tickets (other times, I had to give my tickets to someone else who hadn’t been thrown out yet).
But if I had gotten over there, I know one guy that has had my back in the past and I’m sure he’d block for me if necessary (we’d just have to start him in the right direction).
Oh, Excuse #4, I don’t eat those round sandwiches from Publix (now the KFC sounded good - YUM YUM, but they have that KFC and I’d be saving over 200 miles.

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I’ve always got your back, but if you’re having the free beans at the Lodge then Orlando to Tamps is about as close as I’m prepared to get until the all-clear is sounded…

now the KFC sounded good

Ah! Is that why you wear that hat with KFC on it??? :huepfen024:

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[QUOTE=Andy S;40712]
Ah! Is that why you wear that hat with KFC on it??? :huepfen024:[/QUOTE]

Clean the glasses again Andy…the hat says:

“UP URS”